Mastermind

I asked myself for times
How did You feel when I broke Your rules
I asked myself even more
Did You cry when I denied myself as Yours

Found as broken and left alone
Sitting at the corner of life and had nothing on own
No price no dignity, it was me
Grasping on my breath to get You near

Remind me of the day I met You, Lord
For everything in me I’ve never achieved
Remind me of the day I heard Your voice, o Lord
For everything I couldn’t say in words

In You, I found myself weak
Yet You said in my weaknesses I will therefore be strong
Before You, the burdens got me on my knee
Yet You lifted my cross and died on it instead

I am lost
Searching my way and got nowhere
I am tired
Looking for help nobody can get

There You are
Always next to me
In silence I couldn’t hear
In shadow I couldn’t see

Never too early nor too late
In time I’ve always seen
For things I took as fate
In You I got my way straight

I couldn’t say no more promises
For breaking so many hearts of Yours
Shame on me, o Lord
For this life has no worth
But to kneel down and pray
But to weep and confess
Things I didn’t do enough in life
Yet again You draw me on Your arms and comfort me
So I ask myself one more time
Have You ever given up on me?

Lia Andriyani